High Art (1998)

Ok, I'm an idiot. I watched a movie called High Art, expecting something that wasn't pretentious bullshit. My bad. First off, it must be said that all men are evil and pathetic, and must spout off stupid lines, like wondering if their shirt fits well. Another thing to know is that, if a man is upset that his girlfriend, whom he lives with, came home high on cocaine, he should acknowledge that he is being uptight. Obviously, the problem is not with the girlfriend who's snorting random substances with people she's met only two times before, but it's the guy who tries to, very politely, ask her about what she's doing who is to blame. Also, as in any lesbian propaganda film, the man will have sex with her, and finish up after no more than 20 seconds, before caring about her drug induced state.

I don't get it. These days, I've been complaining about all the same things in movies that I've been watching. Lately, they've been so unbelievable, and heavy handed, that I just can't help but come out angry. Adventureland was shit, yes, but this movie was just plain mean spirited and hateful. I feel it is safe to assume that if a girl lives with a guy, and they tell one another other that they love each other, that they at very least care about each other. So how am I supposed to believe that she, without ever questioning herself, keeps running off and having sex with some girl artist and then ultimately publishes photos of it in a magazine. To top that all off, the one dimensional girl she keeps running around with, who took the pictures, dies from a drug overdose at the end (good riddance), and when she looks at the pictures in the magazine we are supposed to feel sad. No, I'm not. Both of these girls were cold hearted, terrible people, and my only sadness in this story was that one of the two girls didn't overdose.

I need to acknowledge that the way people act in the real world is an unpredictable thing. Clearly that is what the movie was going for, but when you try to have moments of sadness, and emotion, and they fall completely flat, because I the viewer felt only hate for the characters, then you have failed as a writer/director. To make matters worse, it felt like the movie wanted me to cheer for the girls breaking other people's hearts.

High Art is a terrible movie. One of the most exhausting and terrible that I have ever seen. Don't waste your time with it, as I foolishly did.

Also, a fun drinking game if you do watch this movie. Take a drink every time someone is wearing a bra! Don't worry, you won't get drunk. You probably won't even open the bottle.

Galaxy Express 999 (1979)

Once upon a time, there was a boy named Li'l Jonny. He was a nice, overly innocent and naive boy, who loved vanilla ice cream. One day, he was sitting down to watch TV in the early 90s, in search of anything that seemed worthwhile. Little, did he realize that on that day he would be embarking on a journey that wouldn't end for 15+ years. Flicking through the channels, he spotted many different kinds of TV shows, but when he reached channel 6, he discovered something that wasn't like anything else he had ever seen before. It was animated, this much was for sure, but it was done in a strange style unlike anything, he found on YTV. At this point in life, Li'l Jonny loved to watch animated things, like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, or Batman The Animated Series, but the subject matter to this mysterious film was, like it's animation, very different. The story was tragic, and serious. About a young boy in a futuristic world who watches his mother being gunned down in front of him, but a group of hunters. Then he searches for a way onto a space train (Yes, a train that goes through space), where he can go to a planet to get a Mechanically enhanced body, so he can kill the men, who took his mother from him. This is seriously heavy stuff for a young boy. It was sad, but it was also exciting and adventurous. Li'l Jonny watched, hoping his mother wouldn't notice what he was watching, because it had lots of very mature subject matter, and he didn't want to get in trouble. After the movie was over, he had a strange feeling. Perhaps it was the first time that he was emotionally engrossed with a film. Li'l Jonny went to sleep that night, feeling sad, for the little boy in the film, but amazed all the same.

Many years later, Li'l Jonny was no longer Li'l. He was then known as Jonny. One day he was sitting around with his best friend Boone, talking about cartoons they watched when younger. They discussed many shows that were good, great, or terrible, many of which the other one didn't remember, but then Jonny tried to explain the mysterious movie he saw when he was so much younger. Clayton, being brilliant as always, with a recall like an elephant, knew exactly what it was, that Jonny was talking about. Clayton, apparently, having also seen it, on TV that fateful day, from his own home. This movie left a special feeling for him as well, but for him, with his memory so mighty, he remembered many more things about it. They decided they needed to see this movie again. They jumped onto the internet in search of a copy immediately, to see if they could purchase a copy, but were deeply saddened to find that it was only possible to find on VHS for a lot of money, or via a Korean bootleg. They didn't want a bootleg, nor did they have a VCR to play the other option. Alas, this was the beginning of the waiting for Galaxy Express 999.

Many years had gone by. In fact, it had been at least 15 years since the initial viewing of that movie. With so many years having passed, Jonny was no longer Jonny, as the harshness of the world had managed to beat the ny off of his name. He was only Jon at this point. One day, when ol' Jon had gotten home from work, he received a phone call. It was his lifelong pal Clayton, with shocking news. "Galaxy Express is for sale on amazon.ca", shouted Clayton. Jon, couldn't believe it, and checked for himself. There it was, with a notice that only 4 copies were left. Jon could almost see a window back to when he was Li'l Jonny, being mesmerized by the film. Jon ordered, with little hesitation, both a copy for Clayton and himself. Now the question lied, in how would the film have held up, after the decade and a half that had passed.

The day finally came when it arrived, and Clayton and Jon were ready to watch the show. They invited their ol' pal Gary along to check it out too, to see if it was a decent movie, without nostalgia. What they got proved to be much more than they bargained for. The movie itself, proved to be viewable in multiple ways, with lots of symbolism. It is the story of a boy, starting the big journey of life. To take his own risks, and experience adventures that could never be predicted, however it also was about something else. The movie had a hidden message, specifically directed to people the age of Jon and Clayton, in the present. The movie was about nostalgia. To have moved forward in your life, and experienced so much of the world, but to remember what it was like to be a kid before growing up ever happened. Clayton and Jon, both stared at the screen with a mesmerized look on their face. Gary too, seemed intrigued by the movie. As much as they had enjoyed the movie, nothing prepared them for the final line of the movie, and it was very simple. "Farewell my childhood." Such a simple thing to say, but in the context of how it hit Jon and Clayton, it was overwhelming. When the end credits passed, and Gary stood up and turned on the light, Jon was surprised to find that tears had run down his face. The three friends enjoyed the unique film, as an experience that couldn't be found anywhere else.

As the movie itself, so proudly declares, a journey has ended, and a new journey begins. Who knows what the future holds for us, but here is to the movie of my childhood, Galaxy Express 999.

Star Wars trilogies

Let me start off by saying that Lando is the man!!


This weekend, the girlfriend and I embarked on a journey to a long time ago, in a galaxy far away. Me being insistent on being different than everyone, I decided that, on the weekend that the new new Star Wars cuts were being released on Blu Ray, I was gonna watch the original cut on DVD.

I was able to cherish and enjoy the movies, as they were at their best. It's hardly what I would call a grand scale revelation, as George Lucas has clearly been a little senile since 1999, but wow, these movies work so well without CG effects. I sound like a broken record on this, but the tangibility of everything is amazing.

It had been several years since I watched them all, but it never occurred to me until this viewing that the prequels really add nothing to the series at all. I've been something of an Episode 3 apologist for a long time now. I acknowledge dialogue so bad that it made the Silent Hill film, seem like Glengarry Glen Ross. Even now, I acknowledge that Episode 3 is a fun movie with some great action, but it still isn't needed. It's pretty sad when the prequels can't even stand on their own. They just cling to the greatness that is the original trilogy.

Why were the originals so good? I have a few theories. It's sci fi/fantasy done right. It feels like the world is just there and we are watching. Never does it take time to explain how bizarre technologies work, they just do. It helps it feel natural instead of a "this is my jetspeeder" line that doesn't sound natural at all. In fact, it's amazing how Un-George-Lucas-like this series was. I think it was a perfect storm though, in that everyone is trying their hardest, and filled with so much life. George still took his audience seriously and wasn't so arrogant that he wouldn't step aside for better writers and directors. Back then he was climbing a mountain, and maybe he got to the top a little too soon, leading to hoards of yes men and undeveloped skill. Then there is Harrison Ford. I have really grown not to like him over the years. Every movie you see him in he looks like he's just there for a paycheck and can't wait for filming to be over, but not in Star Wars, where he is charming, energetic and clearly giving his all. A shame to see him turn into what he has.

It needs to be said that our leading man in the two trilogies are supposed to be similar, at least that's the feeling I've got, but Luke was nothing like Anakin. Anakin was acted terribly, and everyone knows that, but let's also look at what Lucas was trying to do. Anakin was supposed to be someone you cared about, who fell into darkness and became one of the greatest villains of all time, but right away George made us resent him by talking down to us with Episode 1, thinking we were all 8 years old, and in episode 2 and 3 we have Anakin talking to Padme in what I presume George Lucas thinks is how you should talk to girls. Throw in random crying and people telling us that he's dark and unstable (back to that whole show and don't tell thing) and then he has a hissy fit and goes evil. Vader deserved better. Luke was the opposite. When something bad happened he just looked on sadly, clearly taking it in. He kept trying to be good and occasionally slipped up, usually catching himself and stopping again. This felt like a struggle that was actually believable.

The way I see it, Star Wars was awesome, because it was made to be timeless, but the more recent ones seem to be almost resentful to those who loved the originals. I would go as far as to say that the Star Wars series, with both trilogies and the various updates, are actually the story of a young man who became powerful in a great force, but eventually was tempted by the dark side. It's the story of a rise and fall, but not of Darth Vader, who in the end is redeemed, but of George Lucas, in the force called Hollywood. Will he ever be redeemed? Only time will tell.

Adventureland (2009)

I've read a lot of terrible movie scripts in my life. Let's face it, when you're in the independent movie scene, this sort of thing comes up a lot. It's sad to see a person write a movie script where they obviously care about the main characters so much, but in no way think of a way to make the characters likeable for other people. Don't get me wrong, I support the idea of making movies for yourself, but if you are doing that, it's important to know you are doing that. If a movie is written with the intent of being enjoyed by many, but your characters are never likeable, or interesting, or even realistic, chances are your movie isn't gonna get made, because you the writer are the only person with passion for the project. Unfortunately, Adventureland is an exception to this rule. 

I want to first say, I wasn't expecting a comedy out of this movie. I know the trailer tried to make it out as one, but I'd heard that it wasn't a funny movie at all, just that it was pretty good. I heard half right.

Somehow we have a pretty great cast, pinned down by some ham fisted writing. At every turn there is a contrivance that severely takes you out of story you're seeing. I'm not even gonna go into the acting as there is no point. Everyone in this movie, plays the role they always play. Jesse Eisenberg, is exactly the guy from Social Network, Kristen Wiig is what she always is, Bill Hader is what he always is and Ryan Reynolds is exactly what he always is. Oh and Kristen Stewart, remains a shining image of why having a mother who is a hollywood casting director, is very useful. She has one facial expression, and everyone knows it so that's all I've got to say about her.

At the end of the day, this movie was just not interesting. The characters mean nothing to me the viewer, and thus when we get to the "climax", where everyone up to this point has been a terrible person, I'm supposed to be cheering for two actors, who don't have any connection, to get together. This is your big climax! This movie had me very close to shutting it off for a long time, but I'm a strong believer that if you don't see how the movie plays out, you have no right to call it a terrible movie. I finished it and can say with clear conscience that this movie is TERRIBLE. I'd even go as far as to say it's the worst movie I've seen since, I dunno, Transformers.

The biggest shock is that this is written and directed by the same guy (Which isn't a surprise, especially since no one else would have any passion to direct this terrible script) who directed Superbad. The difference, is that Superbad was written by someone else, who understood the value of likeable characters. This movie was a few rewrites away from being watchable, but at the end of the day, it still had no purpose. It tries to trick us into thinking it's good but using the 80s atmosphere, but even then, it just doesn't work. If there is one thing I learned from this movie too, it's that New York is a very very small city. You can literally hop off of a bus and run into the person you're looking for within 10 minutes of arriving. Gotta love that.

In closing. Save the cat. If you are writing a script and don't know what that means, it's time to look into it. 

UPDATE: I actually wrote this a few days ago. Since then I went on IMDB and noticed this had a 7.1/10. I couldn't help but wonder what the hell people were thinking and when reading a few reviews and comments on the message boards I learned that most people praise this movie for having natural dialogue that is witty and funny. I have also noticed that people genuinely are concerned about the relationship of these extremely unlikeable characters. I'm amazed by this, really, I am. Honestly, some people are blessed with the gift of liking any random character you throw in front of them on the screen. This is why I believe Transformers has been so successful, as Shia's character never does anything likeable in the least but people still pull for him. But that is something for me to touch on another day. Perhaps a day when I feel like having an aneurism. 

Blockbuster, Main Street.

When I was a little boy, I remember very well the day that our first Blockbuster opened up in town. I was very young, and excited to see such a super video store, compared to the ones we had. In hindsight, I can see that Blockbuster was the shark that came to town and ate all of the little fishies (like 'Just New Releases', that place rocked!), and on that note, I guess I'm seeing it as a bit of a negative, but today, I was shocked to find out that both of the Blockbusters here in town are going out of business. 

As a boy, I remember very clearly, walking down to Blockbuster on Main St. here in Fredericton, to look around. Let's be honest I had no money, I was a stupid kid, but it was always an adventure. They had aisles upon aisles of games to look at and fantasize about playing, and they had movies everywhere, wall to wall. I learned at a young age that getting mom to rent movies, was a much easier sell than games, so lots of movies were watched in those days. I also remember, being very young and sneaking in with my best friend, Clayton, and looking in the show box for Megaman 8 (PS1), which had a neat little book inside with pictures of every single villain in all of the Megaman games up to that point. One day, we dared to take it. To put it into perspective, we literally cried about it later on cause we felt so guilty. Looking back though, it's just one of my many great memories of a place I'm really gonna miss.

Fast forward, many years later, I'm burnt out from working at a terrible call centre. I'm broke, and I need money, bad. Low and behold, I managed to, with the help of some friends who were working there at the time, get a job there. At the time, I was pumped about the ten free rentals that I would get in the course of a week. I was also pumped to finally be able to bring all of those games home, like I'd always dreamed! In that phase of my life, I made some great life long friends, fought some brutal battles, had my heart broken, made some terrible mistakes, and found myself progressing towards growing up. Blockbuster, on Main Street, is one of the most important times of my life, and they are 2 years I'll remember fondly, as I see the big yellow letters being taken off of the front of the building.

I knew for many years now that the business couldn't last. Netflix is cheap as hell, and has a pretty decent selection (though a little dated), and digital downloads seem to be growing in popularity. I'll always love the tangibility of a physical movie, be it Blu Ray, or DVD, or LASER DISK (HELLS YES!), but it feels like that age is passing. Even though I knew it couldn't live forever, I'm surprised to find myself genuinely depressed, both for fear of not having a place to walk around and look at movies, and ask questions about them, and the knowledge that I myself, have barely spent any money there in the last few years, meaning I am also in part responsible for it's death.

In closing, to all of the people who made that place so special to me, I hope life is wonderful for you. I hope that you look back on the days we all worked at a good video store with fondness, and have a laugh at some of the silly drama that passed. I also, hope you realize that with the exception of a guy with the initials of J.V., I am better off for having met you. It's a testament to how the world will change around us, whether we want it to or not. Nothing stays forever, so enjoy it while you can.

STEAM POWERED STUDIOS!

I'm pleased to announce that I have started my own Production Company, STEAM POWERED STUDIOS. It is a medium for me to make the movies that I want to make, the way I want to make them, without the unneeded drama behind it. It's founded on the belief that making movies is the most fun job on earth, and no one is gonna ruin it for us. To see what my new project is up to, check out www.steampoweredstudios.com, which as of right now, just directs you to the company blog (at least until I get the site built, and below is my very temporary logo. Give me a break, Rome wasn't built in a day.

Please keep on checking in on both blogs, as I'll be using this one to give my personal thoughts, and that one to talk about company stuff, in a (relatively) professional way. Come on, by now you should know that I am hardly able to suppress my personality.

Anyway, thanks for checking in, and I plan to have lots of great things to show you in the near future!

Governmentally challenged (not actually political)

Depending on others sucks. It's like those god forsaken Massively Multiplayer online games, like WoW. You wait for hours at a time just for tons of people to get ready to go out and kill a tiny little rabbit. We're ready to go, here comes the action and... Oh no, some douchbag on our team has to go eat supper with his parents. Maybe, it's time to move out of your parents house and help me kill this evil bunny, you 35 year old f***! For those of you who are game savvy, you may notice that I'm not talking about World of Warcraft, so much as Final Fantasy XI, but I digress, that's not important.

In life we are always waiting on others. We're in line struggling to purchase our morning coffee behind some ignorant little brat with hair so emo, I doubt he can even see where the cashier is! Seriously, the cashier had to call him over! That actually happened today. If I had a dollar for every time that kid shook the hair out of his eyes, in my presence, I'd have bought a lot more coffee, which is not a person, so I see no irony in depending on it.

What is the point to this stupid article, you, the reader, may be wondering? Calm down! It's my blog, and I can take as long as I want! I'm bitter, cause I have a very important announcement I want to make and so much that I want to do, but first I need one little thing done for me by the provincial government. Basically, the long and short of it, is that I am waiting on a procedure to be done, that required me to quite literally do all of the work on something, and then pay lots of money to have the government look at my work and decide whether or not to say yes to what I'm asking of them. It's a very simple thing too, and I'm almost certain they will say yes, but how freaking long can it take?

I know what you government types do in an average day!!! My tax dollars pay you, generously, to use Facebook! Maybe if it's not too much to ask, could you just take my already finished proposal and just say "YUP"? No rush or anything. Grrr.

Anyway, that's me for today, having a crotchety day. I have friends who work in the government and hate to generalize, but chances are, the higher you are paid the less you do, and by the sounds of things, I'm dealing with some very highly paid people!

The moral: The government sucks and so do MMOs!

'Where I'm at' or 'Jon's new-age bullshit'

Wowza! They finally made Blogger a little more accessible for the iPhone. Of course, they decide to do it at a time when I am so ungodly busy I have no time to write blog posts. Well, that's only partially true. Lately I have developed in many ways, leading to much needed lifestyle improvements. I have learned to stand up for myself, to embrace my creativity and to be more confident in my ideas. Whether or not this blog is the reason for that, I do not know, but for those of you who do read this, I can't thank you enough. My confidence for as long as I can remember, has been something of an act. I'm sure most of you could figure that out by how much I overcompensated for it I can proudly say, for the first time, I am confident in myself. Don't get me wrong though. If you say addicting, I am better than you, and have always known that! If there is one thing I have learned above all else, it's that we all think differently. No two brains work the same, and whether you call that special or not, it's at very least interesting. I'm saying that you should embrace your ways of thinking, but be willing to learn other ways whenever possible. A long time ago I gave up on filmmaking, because I didn't like the way it was being handled all around me. Now I see that as an opportunity to try doing things my own way. I'm sure there is something in your life that you feel this way about and I can't possibly encourage you enough to find a way to make it work for you. This is a prelude to my big announcement, but know that I am more resolved than I've ever been, and I am getting more support from the people around me than I have ever had. I see now that one should not work for a living, so much as find a way to make life work for themselves. Or I could be wrong. Time will tell.