Uberclass

Well, there goes the world. What happens when your's truly teams up with his best buddies to unleash a barrage of youtube fury?

Yes, it's true, Uberclass is a new thing for you to feast your eyes on. Actually, as of this very moment, we've been running for a year on Youtube. You can find the channel here.

Here is a list of a few of my favorite things of our first year of Uberclass. Let's lead off with our YEAR 1 trailer.

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The Last of Us (PS3, 2013)

Oh boy... Naughty Dog really has a thing with knocking me on my ass with their games. After playing last years arguable Game of the Year: The Walking Dead (Not the shitty FPS based off the shitty show), I certainly didn't think I'd need to play anything zombie like again any time soon. Especially, a game where you're a character who has a shady past and you find a young girl and try to escort her safely across the country without her being eaten by zombies, cannibals or bandits. When I think of it, these two games are very similar in many ways. Yet, somehow, I have found myself going back to both of them separately for another playthrough.

While The Walking Dead carried a great deal of heart and adapted to how you played to give you a different outcome, I think I preferred The Last of Us for leaving us no options. The only options you really have along the way are how you're gonna deal with remarkably dangerous situations. Do you walk up to the infected with your fists-a-swingin' or do you instead gun them down. The different types of enemies really find ways to make both an option and potentially a disadvantage. For one thing, you really have barely any ammo in this game.

THAT'S BECAUSE THIS IS AN HONEST TO GOODNESS SURVIVAL HORROR GAME!!!!

Every decision you make is very important. If you use a bullet, you need it to count or else your chances of survival just dropped drastically. You may even find that experience to be stressful and scary.

I recall seeing media getting quite upset due to the excited audience reaction to some of the extreme violence in this game. Make no mistakes, this game is seriously brutal. Yes somehow, it always manages to carry a weight. When I kill someone, it's because I needed to, or I would die. As Joel, the main protagonist (of sorts) puts it, "It's him or me". It somehow brings you in and has you make the decision that it isn't gonna be you. Sometimes, you'll sneak up behind someone and grab them by the throat and start choking out, and what follows is hardly what gaming usually gives us. Instead of the victim exploding into coins and having a japanese voice shout from off screen "GREAT JOB", you find yourself listening to them beg for their lives. You start to second guess yourself. You wonder if you could just let them go and make a deal, however, every single time I found myself finishing them and begrudgingly continuing along. Of course, none of these emotions would be felt without the great acting that Naughty Dog is known for putting into their games.

The acting in this game is remarkable. It's subtle. It's a truly evolved way of playing a game, in fact. Where as before, you would have an exposition moment where one character would say they are sad, you instead see the character make a subtle facial expression change. These people have seen a lot, especially when you take into account the beginning of the game, where you experience the initial infection from a much less gruff Joel, who up to that point was living a life like anyone else.

The game has characters that you can relate to, whether you want to or not, and the ending result is that you find yourself playing for keeps. You find yourself, having been there and done it all before, but trying to protect the one pure thing that you've found along the way. Ellie is in many ways the opposite of Joel. She's a wise cracker with an imagination and a really unique curiosity for the world that we all take for granted. She was born after the infection, and the masters at Naughty Dog know what she will make you feel and seem to make Joel feel the same way about things. It's really interesting. I'm also pleased with how they avoided cliches in this story. It's not like she just shows Joel that hope overcomes all, so much as Joel finds something comforting about her hope and will do anything to protect her. All I can say for sure is that, when I'm playing as Joel, you better not mess with Ellie, 'cause I get Batman levels of grumpy.

I've tried to avoid spoilers as best as I could, so do understand that there was a lot I didn't talk about, but I can't recommend it enough. I also want to avoid overhyping as that is a very real threat. Just get this game and have fun with it (yeah, it's fun too. Not just emotionally draining).

I also need to mention that the multiplayer on this game is actually a lot of fun. It eventually gets old, but all multiplayer does for me eventually. This was one of the best and most interesting I've ever played.

Game of the year? Possibly. The year isn't over yet.

The Dark Knight Rises (2012)

The Dark Knight Rises was a perfect movie. There wasn't a single mistake. I put some spoilers cause I was so excited about how great this perfect movie was!

Chris Nolan used his signature subtlety to a whole new level, going as far as to put in flashbacks to the previous movies every time something is mentioned. I also love how natural the dialogue is. Never does anyone sink to our level by sounding like someone you'd meet in the streets. That just wouldn't be Gotham. Instead we get dialogue with forced subtext at all times. This really works for the movie because it adds to the realistic tone.

I've heard Chris Nolan described as the smartest kid in the class who is no fun to be around. I don't know what they're talking about. Based on the dialogue in this movie, I imagine he'd be really entertaining to be around. I assume that he would squeeze in contextual yet unfunny jokes in every 5 or so minutes to make sure that all of the normal people (like you and me) don't get bored. He would say things that sound smart, yet are really easy to understand, over and over again in an effort to make really challenged people understand and everyone else feel really smart for having figured it out a while before.

I'm really happy with the direction Nolan opted to take this series. In the first one he only made a few changes to Batman's persona and mythos, but by the time the Dark Knight came around, he decided to show us that Batman is a lame character and made him into something really awesome. I especially loved how Batman tackled Two Face to death before falling the same distance, stretching for a minute and riding off on a motorcycle while Gordon talked to his son in a completely believable way. In the Dark Knight Rises, we finally get to see the end of Batman.... NOLAN STYLE!

At the beginning of the movie, Batman quit for the past 8 years and hasn't been seen in action since he killed Two Face and overheard Gordon's speech about him being the cities dark knight because he can take it. I think Batman overheard Gordon's speech because it's realistic to theorize that Batman couldn't handle the pressure of all of that responsibility. Others say that Batman quit because of Rachel Dawes' death, and that makes total sense too, because she was such a beloved character who always talked with great charm and knew how to make Bruce Wayne smile. Seriously, whenever either actress playing Rachel Dawes was on the screen in the first two, I'd see the whole audience smiling and cheering for her great dialogue about justice and injustice...and justice. She even had that hilarious line about how Gotham's DA is always being shot at. I sure was sad that she wasn't in this movie...but I digress, I've gotten off topic. Anyway, Batman quit...cause that makes sense.

Now he's a smelly old guy who walks with a cane, locked up in his new mansion with a bunch of pictures and things (including his mothers pearl necklace, which he must have put in his pocket before leaving the burning Wayne Manor in Batman Begins...after repairing it...and putting a tracking device in it). For a while he has a real fun accent but soon enough he just goes back to the same voice he had in the other movies.

Bane is really cool in this movie. Having barely seen him in comic books such as Knightfall and Vengeance of Bane...and Secret Six...and Suicide Squad, it was really nice to learn what Bane's character is like. First off he has telepathic powers that send his voice directly to your ears. This is really useful for him if he's hiding in the dark, because you can't follow the voice to find him. I really like the way Sean Connery played him in this film, with an excellent physique that is truly intimidating. This totally makes up for League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. I also really like the way they stuck to his origin in the comics, where he was born and raised in a South American prison. I love the subtle nod to his comic book origin, with him being in a prison and meeting someone who was born and raised in a prison.... in India... while he is a white british guy (or whatever accent he's going for here). They also do a great job of showing how much of a badass leader Bane is. He's smart and calculating and can't be told what to do by anyone... until someone makes him cry and tells him what to do. I'm not gonna spoil who tells him what to do, but I'll give you a hint. Look for the worst acting you've ever seen on film and it's that person...

Anyway, what was I saying again? Oh yeah, this movie is perfect. Forget what I said about that bad acting character. They did a great job. There was even a part within 5 minutes of that character revealing that they were actually the big villain all along where they instantly die. The performance of this scene was so realistic it made several people in the theatre start laughing. Some people have interesting ways to deal with their sadness. You think that's the only big shocking twist ending? Hell no. Nolan is no slouch! He vowed with this movie he would put in more endings than Lord of the Rings: Return of the King.

I especially love the big twist with the character of John Blake where he finds out his real name. It's great because this gesture just shows me that Nolan knows about the comic books existence, but it still reminds me that comic books are stupid and Nolan is better than that. It's weird I didn't mention John Blake until now. It's almost like his character didn't really do anything in the movie but fill in a spot that was needed, but never fleshed out. I probably feel that way because it's been a few days since I've seen this masterpiece. We do at one point see him barely beat up one guy. Maybe he could be the next Batman (I know the answer, but I don't want to spoil it for you). Still, if that did happen, it'd be awesomely realistic, because he has no training, no money and a bat costume that was made for a guy who is half a foot taller than him. Did I mention I love Nolan's realistic approach?

There are a lot more Batman gadgets this time around, which is good, because I keep running out of toys to buy. This time Lucious Fox early on says something about hey I need to show you our crazy technology that I've hidden away in this room. After they showed it, and talked about a new object called The Bat and it's lack of autopilot, I never thought they'd mention these things again, but Nolan is a wild sorcerer of genius and totally blew my mind by subtly using them a great deal for the rest of the movie.

Batman gets his back wrecked by something that happens. *SPOILER*: Bane breaks his back (or pops out a vertebrae) and locks him in an underground prison with a guy who fixes it in minutes. After Bruce finally manages to escape by only being able to make a long jump when not wearing a rope to show that he believed in himself (Chris Nolan avoids cliches at all turns). He voyages back to Gotham with a vengeance on his mind. He finally gets to Bane and has his awesome fight scene, and Catwoman shoots and kills Bane... What an awesome twist. I love that Batman doesn't accomplish anything in this movie except for flying away with a bomb at the end (with the fixed autopilot...that's why they mentioned it... HO HO HO.. GENIUS!).

Another great example of subtlety was a scene early on where Alfred basically tells Bruce to quit being Batman and eat lunch at this place in Paris. I almost fell out of my seat, when it turned out that was important. It's things like this where Nolan proves that he is the symbol for great filming like Gandhi is for peace (Ignore the fact that Gandhi was a wife beater...LOL).

Overall, this movie was perfect, except Batman was in it too much. It really should have focused on everyone else more and had Batman in it for no more than 20 minutes. The Dark Knight was the better movie because of this (and that awesome part with the two boats with bombs that plays out in Nolan's signature realistic way!). It's nice to have a movie finally show Batman off as the quitter I've always felt he should be (by always I mean since Chris Nolan invented the character of Batman properly...LOL).

I can't wait to see what shocking twists he puts into a movie next...seeing as I never see them coming from 2 hours earlier in the movie.

Masterpiece.


As an aside, I wanted to say that this theatre shooting thing is among the worst possible things I can imagine. The theatre is one of those places where you shouldn't ever have to be afraid to go. It's supposed to be safe, comfortable and fun. It seems to me, at least as of this moment, that this was a nearly unprovoked attack, but I still am hearing people talk about how they aren't going to see this movie or others any time soon because they are scared. I request that people don't let the actions of one lunatic ruin something you love. He will find his justice, and I hope in time that we all can find our way back to the safe feeling of the theatre. I also want to send respect and goodwill to the families of the victims, as well as the victims themselves, whom some of which are reported to have shielded and protected their loved ones. That's amazing and it's always sad when someone loses their life for doing the right thing.

E3 2012 - The Good

This time around, I'd like to take a look at a few of the good things that I saw at E3 this year. I would first like to describe what it is that makes something from E3 good. E3 stands for Electronic Entertainment Expo, so ultimately the mission here is to be entertaining and electronic. Since everything there is electronic, I am looking at only what I can see as entertaining.

I will be posting the videos of the mentioned games so that you, can see what I've seen for yourself.

As an aside, comment below if you saw something at E3 that caught your eye but I didn't mention it, as I may not have seen it and would love to check it out.

Beyond: Two Souls (PS3 Exclusive)

I love how we have finally reached the point in our gaming technology that we cast real actors in our games. This particular piece of art is 'starring' Atlantic Canada's very own Ellen Page is coming to us from Quantic Dream, who most will know for bringing us the gem, Heavy Rain. As of right now, we don't know much about how it will play but it seems like it is aiming for the emotional attachment that is rare these days in cinema and gaming alike. David Cage the game director says that it will be more action oriented, so that should prove to be pretty interesting. Be sure to check out the video, in which David Cage puts his money where his mouth is as to how much better a full body performance capture is than a face only performance capture, ala L.A. Noire. 





Watch_Dogs (PS3/Xbox360/Windows)

If you ask anyone what the biggest surprise was of E3, this was it. Seriously, none of us had heard of it before, and for that alone, I have to give Ubisoft some massive credit. Ubisoft has done very well at making hugely accessible games that still maintain a high level of intelligence, and this seems to be no exception from Ubisoft Montreal. Check out the attached trailer to see what looks like it could be a clever sci fi masterpiece.





The Last of Us (PS3 Exclusive)

Now, where the previous two titles that were mentioned weren't really discussed before the show, we all knew that this game was gonna show up at Sony's press conference. We saw the haunting visuals of a post apocalyptic world with plants overgrown across the city streets and buildings, and we saw the main characters Joel and Ellie struggling to survive in this brutal world. Not to mention the horrific zombie like plant infected people who seem eager to eat your brains, this seems like it is potentially the reinvention of the true survival horror game, and with Naughty Dog, the makers of Uncharted, behind it, I know it is in great hands!




Assassin's Creed III (PS3/Xbox360/Wii U)

Every place that you looked at E3, people were talking about he juggernaut that is Assassin's Creed III. This game is huge and it's pretty cool to see a small series grow into such a big deal so fast. After Ubisoft wasted our time with Assassin's Creed Brotherhood and Revelations, it's back on track with, what looks to be one of the most fun games ever. I pre-ordered it months ago...duh.





Gears of War Judgement (Xbox360 Exclusive)

During the 15 or so minutes that Microsoft talked about actual games this year, they quickly mentioned Gears of War Judgement, a prequel to the excellent trilogy, except this time, you play as my personal favorite of the cast, Baird (the blonde guy who always seems miserable and makes a lot of wisecracks...it's like looking in a mirror). They gave us no gameplay really, but at very least, I know it's gonna be a fun game and it's gonna be our chance to finally see what's up with Baird, who has always felt like the only undeveloped character of the main 4 characters of Gears.




God of War: Ascension (PS3 Exclusive)

Up until now, Sony only talked about it's unwanted multiplayer features for the game. Here, they still didn't bother talking about the story, which is to me, a huge selling point of the series. What they did show us, however, was that this is another God of War game, with excellent combat and gigantic monsters at all turns. God of War may not change much in it's gameplay or setting, but what it does change in, is the new faces and monsters you see and just the sheer moments of unbelievable awesomeness.




Halo 4 (Xbox360 Exclusive)

For those who know me, you're wondering why I'm mentioning Halo 4, and to be honest, it's just because it looks like some stuff is finally different in this newest outing. Mind you, it's not different in a gameplay way (which I've always felt has been the only good thing about Halo), but it actually seems like it may be mixing it up a bit with the enemies and the weapons. I liked the first Halo, hated the second and thought the third was not too bad. Either way, the preview for the game was a high point, based on it having a greatly different feeling to it than any other Halo game (though it sorta felt like Metroid Prime).




Crysis 3 (PS3/Windows/Xbox360)

This one is another no brainer, and is also one of the worst kept secrets, leading in to E3. With Crysis, I've found that all you need to know is that it looks beautiful, it takes you to the most beautiful places possible and it is a smooth FPS like no other. As of right now I'm working on Crysis 2, but the first one on PSN or XBLA is something everyone should download and enjoy. Near the end the game really takes you on a wild ride, and this looks like a great end to the whole series.



Tomb Raider (PS3/Windows/Xbox360)

I find it to be pretty hilarious that everyone accused Uncharted of being a Tomb Raider knock off when it first came out, strictly because it was about a treasure hunter who went to ruins and had to solve some puzzles. The only difference was that Uncharted did so much more than that, and now Tomb Raider is taking some cues from the evolution of Uncharted. Please, don't misunderstand me though. I'm not saying Tomb Raider is copying Uncharted. What I'm saying is that Tomb Raider observed the great changes that Uncharted made to the formula and made them it's own. The result is what looks like one of the best games at E3 this year. Instead of the funny one liners you may expect from Nathan Drake, you get a girl who is fighting for her survival at all costs, and she's really taking a beating. Tomb Raider is the game that the Lara Croft series needs... hopefully, it will make me forget about Tomb Raider: Underworld.




South Park: The Stick of Truth (PS3/Xbox360)

A South Park styled JRPG that is actually developed with Matt Stone and Trey Parker... it's brilliant and it looks like so much fun. They even went so far as to make it look terrible, on purpose as South Park would. The idea is that you create yourself and join the South Park gang to save the town from a great evil force. It looks funny as hell and at least equally as fun. I can't wait for this PSN/XBLA title.



...and the best thing at E3 this year was....

Sony CEO Jack Tretton

Don't judge me...he's just so darn adorable!

Keep in mind there were several other games that I am pretty interested in. Many of which more so than the titles listed above, but I didn't see them have much of a presence in the press conferences so I didn't add them. Other ones to look out for are Metal Gear Rising, Darksiders II, Resident Evil 6 and many others.

Overall: E3 this year was pretty underwhelming, but the high points were very high. As I criticized it for beforehand, the big game companies have seriously gotta stop announcing everything 2 weeks before the show. As you may have noticed from my list, all of my selections for the best of E3 were games and none of them had anything to do with stupid gimmicks or dancers or Usher. Games are why we watch E3, and it breaks my heart to see that Nintendo is again coasting on nostalgia and not trying anything new. Still a part of me wants to see that Zelda game with a silent Link and HD graphics with orchestral music and a full voice cast for everyone else. I still love the Nintendo characters to a certain degree (minus Mario, who has really worn out his welcome for me at this point) and want to see them doing something exciting for a change.

E3 2012 - The Bad

E3 has been something of a mixed bag this year. Overall, my complaints going in have proven to be accurate with every one of the big three announcing or "leaking" their announcements before the show, which basically takes away the whole excitement factor. Where Sony and Microsoft are concerned, it seems like they basically are waiting for this year to be over so they can get to their next console announcements, and with Nintendo, they are up to their usual tricks in announcing the same Mario games over and over again and knowing that people will mindlessly buy it.  I want to take this in more of a point form direction as there is a lot to cover, so let's get to it.

Note: I decided to split this into two parts as there is a lot of ground to cover.

Iwata-San standing in front of a sign that can be translated to say "Give us your money bitches!"

Wii U - This was the biggest story of E3 going in and I'm sure many would maintain that it still is. Unfortunately, the message that Nintendo sent to me was that I could play mini game collections and newer versions of old Mario games. They pretty much ignored their 3DS market (which at this point is their bread and butter) to the point where the guy who quickly squeezed in a few 3DS announcements (of more Mario games) even was complaining about how little time he was given. The 3DS did end up with a separate video conference later on, but I honestly didn't care. When they announced the Wii U, they described it as "the wii for you...that's why we've decided to call it The Wii U." This excited the audience at last years E3, as they were actual gamers and Nintendo insisted this time it would be bringing the core gaming experience that we have been begging for. Unfortunately, this only means that you will get to play games that came out on PS3/X360 a year or so before. They even went as far as to brag about Batman Arkham City coming to the Wii U at launch. I'll pass, as I've already played through it with a better controller last year some time. As far as new game announcements go, it was pretty slim, though the new Rayman Legends game looks kinda neat, it probably would be just as fun on the iPad.

Nintendoland - I have no intention of bagging on Nintendo for this whole write up, but I need to mention Nintendo's big E3 swan song, Nintendoland. Nintendo proudly proclaims it to be "the only mini game collection that includes Nintendo characters". After that, we get an extremely long demo where a japanese guy explains to us how it works. The game (Luigi's Ghost Mansion) was basically a 4 player Luigi's Mansion mixed with Pac Man, yet somehow this took at least 10 minutes to explain. Ultimately, this presentation and the entire Nintendo presentation as a whole looked pretty awful and insultingly unambitious. Nintendo is basically saying "we know you'll buy it, so we aren't gonna try". Sadly, Nintendo fanboys have been obliging this pretty seriously on various message boards too.

Wonderbook - Remember last year's E3 showing of Disney Kinect Adventures from Microsoft? That was seriously painful, and I am attaching the link to that video here so that you can go see it, if you haven't. It's a great example of a video game company missing the mark, and showing the wrong audience something relatively fascinating. This year, Sony clearly decided that it could be way more groan inducing than Microsoft with something called Wonderbook. Sony's conference was going really great, until they decided to dedicate 20 minutes of their 90 minute time slot to Wonderbook. I kid you not, this was the longest presentation Sony did. Basically, it's an augmented reality book that you can used with the Playstation Move and PS Eye. You open it and wave your move around and it apparently adds up to being fun. The presentation was so bad that it moved past Disney Kinect Adventure's laughable presentation and into straight up agony. This may be interesting enough for children who like Harry Potter (as that's how they advertised it), but after 20 minutes, my friend fell asleep, my girlfriend who loves Harry Potter got so bored she walked off, and I seriously considered playing my Vita until it was over. Speaking of which....

Sony pretty much ignoring the Vita - Sony clearly thinks pretty highly of their new handheld, and why shouldn't they? It's a great system. It's the handheld that I myself have always wanted and I can say I've had some really special gaming experiences with it, sitting outside in the sun. Sadly, the sales do not reflect this, as people claim their are no games for it. I have 5 physical games right now and will be buying Gravity Rush in a few days, when it releases. For a console that has been out for barely 3 months, that is pretty good. Sadly, Sony seems oblivious to it's serious sales problems and instead of dropping the price or doing much of anything at all to help out this great machine, they said we'll be able to play Playstation 1 games soon on it (which was already announced), and that a special Assassin's Creed 3 spin off will be coming to the Vita with a white Vita bundle on the day that Assassin's Creed 3 comes out (Assassin's Creed 3: Liberation). Hell yeah. They also told us that their smash bros. rip off game Playstation All-Star Battle Royal (rolls right off the tongue) will be on Vita too. Ultimately, that was not enough. They could have even talked about already announced games if they had the time to.... I'm looking at you Wonderbook.

Aisha Tyler & Tobuscus - Every year, Ubisoft hires someone to be obnoxious while hosting their panel and every year everyone complains about it. This year they hired two people and it actually did work out to be double annoying. Whenever Aisha wasn't talking about her girl wood, Tobuscus (as he apparently goes by on youtube) just acts obnoxious and expects people to laugh afterwards. The whole act fell flat. Perhaps it's time we just go with Ubisoft's french-Canadian management team as the hosts, as I would honestly enjoy that more. As an aside, Ubisoft's games were some of the best shown (but I'll get to that on E3 2012 - The Best).

Usher - Usher came out and performed a song for Dance Central 3 at Microsoft's show. I'm not really sure who this was for.

Pretty much EA's entire conference - It wasn't offensive at all, it was just boring. Tons of sports games that are barely any different than last years. None of EA's partener's were there. The new Medal of Honor looks pretty cool, and the new Sim City looks pretty fun too, but I really didn't care until the very final announcement. Crysis 3, which almost made up for all of the boring Madden talk... almost.

American McGee's Alice (PS3/x360, 2000)

For years I've been hearing about this crazy dark image of the Alice in Wonderland story. As a lifetime console gamer it's one of those ideas that makes me consider a trip over to the PC realm, but I just never got around to it. Recently, I was at the store and found Alice: Madness Returns (which I'll be reviewing shortly) on the shelf for a great price. On the back, to my surprise, it said it had a coupon inside to play the original game as included DLC.

I need to reiterate that this game was originally released in the year 2000. Mind you, they clearly threw an HD remastering on it, but for a game 12 years old to look as good at this game does is really a feat. The controls also worked pretty well, though the jump mechanics can be difficult due to having trouble telling how far away platforms are. I understand that this game was originally designed for the mouse and keyboard, but personally, I felt right at home with my controller.

I would like to say that I am an expert when it comes to Alice in Wonderland, but that would be a filthy lie. All I have ever known of it was that there is a hatter who madly loves tea and a badass cat who smiles and instigates Alice at every turn. I also know that Tim Burton tried his dark take at Alice in Wonderland and made a billion dollars worldwide with what most people would call a terrible and typical Tim Burton movie with no respect for the source material. Oh well, at least Johnny Depp got to put on white makeup....again.

Where it is generally accepted that Wonderland is a place in Alice's mind, what happens when Alice's mind falls apart? That's the idea that this game plays with. This takes place after the original story, when one night while Alice is off in Wonderland in her dreams and a fire starts in her home. She barely escapes her home, but ends up hearing her parents screams as they burn to death. This drives her over the edge and leaves her in an asylum, where her only hope is to go back into her now deranged version of Wonderland, in hopes that she can reconstruct her mind. The whole game plays out as a very interesting story of PTSD and dealing with it in a dark way, and oh what a dark way it is.

Atmospherically, this game is one of the most impressive feats that I have ever encountered before. I found overwhelming dread the further into the game I got. What I found interesting about the character of Alice, is that she seems to think the world around her is strange for all sorts of the wrong reasons. Whether it be a character in a torture apparatus asked why he was put there by the Mad Hatter. The first thing that she suspects is that he is guilty of slurping his tea or talking while eating at the table. She's wonderfully oblivous to how crazy this world is, and instead of making this world seem unrelateable , it only serves to make the atmosphere draw you in. Near the end of the game, I found myself thinking differently to try to compensate for the craziness that is this version of Wonderland, and for a game to teach you how to think like an insane person, I have no other term for it than art.

I love this version of the Hatter.

In the end, the whole game comes down to Alice battling her inner demons, and it fits with the classic story in an unprecedented way. This game is a masterpiece and I recommend it to anyone who has the patience to play a game with dated controls, older graphics and a really high difficulty curve. If you value atmosphere, this is one of the very best games ever made.

Hunted: The Demon's Forge (PS3/x360, 2011)

There is an art to being tedious. If you are one of the people who believes that statement, this is pretty much your equivalent to Van Gogh's Starry Night.

The real selling point to this game, was the concept that it was an entirely coop campaign, and unlike many games, it's storyline was set up as such. This way, whoever was playing the second character wasn't just vanishing during storyline cut scenes and so on. The problem here is that there is pretty much no storyline at all.

At least Lucy Lawless voices this character, but I think the
sound was recorded in someone's bathroom, as it sounds terrible.

The 'story' goes like this:

1. 2 characters are lead to a town to go on a quest by Lucy Lawless showing up in their dreams. (My dreams with Lucy Lawless in them are so much better, but let's move on.)
2. They are greedy and want money for whatever reason (they never say why).
3. They try to convince you that they become heroic after a while, but they don't really try that hard.
4. The game ends with what can only be called a twist... maybe (again, there is no investment in these characters at all, so it's pretty much useless).

Fair enough. In this day and age, story is often the least important thing about games, after all, look how successful the Halo series is with it's whole go here and destroy this storyline that everyone raves about. Speaking of Halo, Bungie (the company who up until now has made all of the Halo games) has this mentality of creating the most fun 30 seconds you can have over and over again. This clearly was something that came through with the makers of this game, except instead of the 30 seconds of fun formula, it instead uses the 15 minutes of annoying enemies attacking non stop over and over again. It just gets old, and if you think about it, every chapter is probably 20 rooms with a metric ton of padding to keep you in each one before moving to the next.

From a game-play standpoint, this game isn't terrible, though the swordplay is a bit on the loose side and tends to degenerate into tapping the attack button over and over again. Fortunately, as you develop more powerful skills and magics, you probably can do without using a sword ever again. There is also a pretty decent bow and arrow/ third person shooter mechanic that works pretty well, with the exception of the arrows refusing to hit the targets some time. For example, you see an enemy, aim for his head and fire but another enemy walks partially in front of him. Instead of the enemy in front taking the hit or the enemy in the back taking the hit, somehow neither one takes a hit at all. This came up many times, and leads me to believe that you can only hit the one you are targeting.

Worst of all though, is the shitty comic relief jammed into the dialogue all through this game. You will likely hear the characters say something that is poking fun at how crappy the game's formula is.

Here are a few examples of this.

1. It's not uncommon to pick up a health potion and have them say, "You can never have too many health potions", which is bullshit cause you can only have 3.
2. They love to make reference to how you are always encountering yet another gigantic door to get to the next area.
3. "It's raining targets" one of the characters will say when you are under attack by endless enemies over and over again, which isn't funny because you've already heard this exact comment said about 35 times by the end of the game.
4. They refer to how the enemies never stop coming constantly, which again, you will be saying way before they will, so it's just annoying having the game say, "Oh yeah, the game designers totally knew there were too many enemies."

Overall, Hunted isn't a good game at all. I couldn't recommend it to anyone, and would suggest just steering clear of it all together.

Platinum trophy note: I managed to get the platinum, but the game has a really bizarre issue with it's trophy for picking up all of the crystals in the game. This little glitch made me have to play through the whole sodding game a second time. If you do intend to go for this platinum be sure to study the trophy guide on ps3trophies.org to save yourself several miserable hours of gameplay.