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| This is what I look like as I write this....minus the cocain and alcohol. |
As time goes by, I understand more and more what he meant. Sometimes life conspires to make you the villain. As the old saying goes, 'the path to hell is paved with good intent'.
It has been quite a few months since I posted on here, and there could be several reasons for that. On one hand, maybe I'm too busy these days, or perhaps I haven't cared enough about anything to write about it. Whatever the reason, I find myself having something to say and nothing else matters.
A few months ago, one of my all time best friends and I had a 'break up' of sorts. This has been one of the most painful things I've ever experienced in my life. To have a person who you can always count on and feel comfortable around absolutely start to hate you and tell everyone how bad you are is pretty overwhelming. I have always been one of those 'friend people', who values his friends about all else. Maybe that made me overbearing, but who knows. I always thought that best friends could talk about anything and should always be understanding, but like the idea of being sucked out of a hole in an airplane, that myth has been busted (by the way, I rarely watch Mythbusters, but it's a pretty fun show!).
So, what destroyed our friendship? Well, isn't it obvious? It's always a woman. My friend found himself a woman who was historically a big fan of deception on a scale of oddity. Now my friend has also been known to indulge in the deception from time to time, but he was still an unquestionably great guy. When he told me that he was with her, I told him that I had heard that she had grown a great deal since her less than wonderful days. I wanted to be happy for him, and tried to be, as all of my experiences with her had been general annoyances and lying about my other best friend (good thing I always had 2 best friends huh!?). I decided that she deserved the benefit of the doubt.
I don't think it's fair to go into detail on the events that happened next, but I will say that she was one of those people who thinks a little too much of drug use and in a matter of a two hour visit I had caught her in several lies. I didn't trust her and decided I didn't want her brought to my home any more. My friend was relatively accepting of that. Now that I think of it, it was almost surprisingly so.
Later on she did some really hurtful things to my friend. So hurtful in fact that I personally would never even talk to her again if I was in his shoes. Naturally he came to my place and we talked it out. He had a whole new resolve. He was ready to leave her, saying he never wanted anything to do with her again. Then she messaged him on facebook a few times with the most cheesy, unbelievable messages (seriously one was a long paragraph ending with "but I... I love you") and he left to be with her.
Gradually he stopped calling on me more and more. Sadly, I think it was because I wasn't there for him as much as he needed. It was a hard time in his life and I left him hanging. I found myself in a relationship and working ridiculous hours. He probably felt pretty alone and had no one to turn to but her and so he went back to her to stay.
Let me be honest. I'm an emotional guy. One day I went to send him a message just to talk about old times and see how he was when I noticed I wasn't on his friends list anymore. I messaged him saying I was hurt and I wanted to know how he was doing. He replied in a snarky way saying he was better than he has ever been "...so thanks for everything." I won't lie. This set me off and lead to a series of messages back and forth that probably lead to a point it shouldn't have. It ended with him calling me a snob who was making all sorts of stories up about her, which is odd because he acknowledged them earlier.
I decided it was lost and it honestly hurt in a strange way that I hadn't felt before. The next day someone messaged me with his new updated facebook post. He took my messages to him and edited them down into a villainous long post cutting out all of the parts about what he is doing and just having me saying the harshest comments. He showed it to what was left to his friends list (he deleted all but maybe 20) and sadly I know some people believed I threw him under a bus.
The worst of it is that his family would call me often to ask me to talk to him about how much trouble he was in with her. Now I think they hate me as much as he does thinking I abandoned him. I don't have the heart to call them and tell them I tried. I don't have the heart to show the accurate messages to the people who saw his post (although, I showed it to the ones who asked).
This is the story of how I became my best friend's arch enemy. It's my dirty laundry posted for the world to see. It's not fair to use names, so I'm not, but if you know me personally, you know who this person is. My birthday was last month, and many of my friends were there. Despite all that has happened, there was an empty seat, that I really wish wasn't.
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