My case for tea as a gentleman's drink

It's ok...go on and say it...There feel better? I agree, I am manly as hell.

Apparently, at my new place of work, this is throwing some people off. When people aren't asking me if I can hammer stuff or pull their cars out of snow banks (with my bare hands) I like to sit back and have a nice hot cup of Earl Grey tea. The other day, I walked in to a room, likely to show off my huge manly muscles, when I left my cup of tea behind. As I walked away a girl asked if I left my cup, to which I replied in a growly, brooding and mysterious voice, "yes". When I got back in the room a bunch of the girls were cracking up that I was drinking tea in my cup. I of course had super important stuff to take care of, like saving a kitten from a burning building, so I didn't think too much of it.

Two weeks later, I'm walking back to my office when I stop and talk to the boss. A girl giggles and asks if I'm drinking tea. Of course I am, and she explains that it's weird to see a man drinking tea. Then a few other girls chime in and agree. Let me explain, this isn't herbal tea...this isn't peppermint flavor, this isn't even lemon flavored. This is Earl Grey...the most badass tea out there.

My father, who is the manliest being in the universe, with the exception of myself, is the one who first got me hooked on tea, leaving me with the question, why is tea considered girly amongst some. Believe it or not, not all men only drink beer and talk about Nascar. If you are a woman and reading this, I implore you to reconsider those values, or you're gonna end up with a real winner. People forget that before being manly was ever cool, it was cool to be a gentleman. Now, it's mostly forgotten with good reason, as most men have given up the practice of gentlemanliness, but a few of us do keep it alive. Consider tea, the gentlemanly fuel.

Just because little girls have tea parties, we connect it to women. However, as adults always do, we forget why kids do things in the first place and how the children's imagination works. Little girls having tea parties enjoy them because they are acting out the fantasy of old school high class fun. Hell, their cups are usually empty, so the tea is not a factor. The point I'm making with all of this, though, is that even a child knows that tea is a drink for high class people, to drink and enjoy the company of others.

I would also like to point out that women are totally allowed to drink tea, obviously. It's not an exclusively manly drink. Tea is a drink for those who cherish moments and flavors. Now I'm gonna show a few exhibitions of tea being for men.

Exhibit A

Exhibit A is the Dalai Lama drinking tea. Now the untrained eye may not notice it, but you will be thrilled to see in his other hand a cookie. This is a man truly enjoying a moment!

Exhibit B

Exhibit B deals with marking your tea for maximum manliness. Let me remind you that Mr. T beat cancer. His likeness on this teapot, is definitely working towards beating cultural stereotypes.

Exhibit C

Exhibit C is Alfred Pennyworth delivering a tray of tea to his master. You know who his boss is.... if he drinks tea, tea is cool! (if you don't know who he is, you need to watch Batman Begins while drinking some Earl Gray!)

Exhibit D

Exhibit D, our final exhibit, Jean-Luc Picard, is the reason why Earl Grey is the tea of choice among socially awkward males all over the world and gentlemen alike. Whether you spell it Earle Grey or Earl Grey, it's still manly as hell. Don't argue with that face!