Cowboys and Aliens (2011)

Jon Favreau is the elected representative of the people's republic of coolness. In more recent years he has been just tearing up Hollywood with an excellent eye for action, that so few directors of today really have. I don't have to tell you Iron Man was awesome. Everyone knows that. However I feel a lot of people have overlooked some of his other movies as the gems that they are. Primarily I'm talking about Zathura. Yes, I saw the previews and rolled my eyes. Oh great, it's exactly Jumanji in space. That's so lame, or so I thought. The shocking truth I got when I finally caved and watched it, was that it was actually way more fun that Jumanji. I kid you not. It had great action and a great feeling of high energy fun all the way through it. So, after seeing a movie that I honestly didn't see having much potential for anything, being so good, I figured I'd better give Cowboys and Aliens a shot. The question is does this movie function with such a crazy concept?

Let me say right now, that the title of this movie, is the most accurate title since Snakes on a Plane. Coincidentally, there are cowboys in this movie. Surprisingly, there are also at times aliens. It poses the question, how would a bunch of cowboys survive if aliens started abducting their loved ones from their town, and answers it with a rather lazy Macguffin.


Our main character Jake Lonergan, is played well by Daniel Craig pulling off a smooth western accent, as a badass cowboy. He wakes up in the desert with no memory of anything and a bizarre metal bracelet wrapped around his wrist. Immediately, I have a connection with him because this happens to me every Sunday night. He finds his way to a nearby town, and when people start getting abducted, it's up to him, and the villages people to go and get their loved ones back from those darn aliens.

It's at this point in the movie where I found myself enjoying certain things. My favorite thing about this movie was the supporting cast. Clancy Brown and Sam Rockwell are amazing and bring a great deal of heart to this movie. They give you characters to care for and make this outlandish situation have some gravity. Paul Dano is around too, and that's always great. His acting is a great example of getting a lot of story across through acting and not telling so much. You can understand pretty quickly on why he's a little bastard, especially when you meet his father.

Sadly, here's where I'm gonna piss some people off. Harrison Ford just doesn't do a very good job. Don't get me wrong. He has a few good moments, but he has way more bad ones. It's a matter of him walking around talking in a gravelly voice, looking like he just ate some bad Taco Bell (if such a thing exists) all the time. He doesn't even seem like he's trying. We also have Olivia Wilde as 'really hot girl who needs to be in this movie to keep us from leaving the theatre to take a bathroom break'. She does EXACTLY what she's supposed to. She's stunning, and thankfully, not a terrible actress, like so many today who seem to ride on their looks.


Alas, there is that goddamn MacGuffin canon that is attached to Daniel Craig's arm. It reminds me of the old Spider-man cartoon from the sixties. Remember how before every commercial break something bad would happen and it would leave Spidey at a cliffhanger, only to come back and just have him shoot a web to make something bizarre that totally fixes everything? The MacGuffin canon is TOTALLY that.

"Oh no, these aliens are invincible to our bullets!"
"Here let me kill them easily with my awesome sci fi weapon."
"Woah! You've just entered the bone zone!"

This is pretty much what it all comes down to. At first they make him out to be a badass, but by the end of it he's the least badass character because he never actually has to do anything cool. He just has to point his WMD at things and kill them. I feel like a lot of creativity was wasted because of this thing. Also, it's been brought to my attention that this movie was based on a comic book that did not have the bracelet at all. Sounds to me like studio intervention.

Overall, this movie is a pretty feel good movie and has some moments of greatness, but it's sadly forgettable. If you want to see a movie you haven't seen yet at the theatres and this is the only thing that fits the bill, go for it. It's fine for a single watch, but in a few years time I doubt I'll remember this movie even exists. Still not a black mark on Jon Favreau, but I really wish it was more.


By the way, if I can encourage you to see this movie for one reason, it's to see the new trailer for the Battleship movie. Yeah that Battleship! Words just can't describe it!

The Dark Knight Returns

I've been talking a lot these days about Warren Ellis. Yeah I know it's probably getting old, but I haven't seen the comic writing thing done in a more natural way. You almost never see thought bubbles or naration. That's left up to the artist and intelligent dialogue. It leaves us feeling our own feelings as witnesses to the situations, as opposed to being told what we are supposed to feel.

On the other side of the spectrum we have Frank Miller. Let me just say, I thought he was brilliant...at first. I read a few of the Sin City series and thought the man was a great comic writer. Sure it had lots of inner monologuing, but that only added to the noir atmosphere. As I'm sure most readers of this will know, Sin City had a few of it's stories adapted wonderfully into a movie (and Robert Rodriguez announced a second one coming soon too). At this point I found myself seeking more Frank Miller books. Rabidly I devoured almost all of the Sin City stories. Then I heard about, *sigh* All Star Batman and Robin the boy wonder. It was to be written by Frank Miller and drawn by the amazingly talented Jim Lee. This came at a time when Frank Miller's ego was commencing a thermonuclear meltdown of arrogance. He wrote this in a way no one could believe. Batman is running people down in his Tank Mobile, terrifying a little boy who just watched his parents die and making him eat rats! Oh and of course when poor little Dick Grayson asks him who he is, he has the infamous reply:

Naturally I found myself swiftly facepalming and crying myself to sleep. This was written by the guy who apparently wrote the best Batman story of all time! Alas, after avoiding it for years after that terrible series, I finally today read the so called epic The Dark Knight Returns.

It was written in 1986, and it's a safe bet that that was when Miller was just starting his Sin City writing style which would likely take place for the rest of his life. Truth be told it's pretty good, minus some frustrating moments. It really shows Batman in a different light, for the time, though baffling choices were made. The Robin in this story is terrible, especially considering the slight trash talking of Dick Grayson who must of molested Miller in his younger years. Also, you can see the coming standby Frank Miller hangups developing, including but not limited to, all women being lustful or prostitutes, racism and homosexuality being a trait only of the wicked. Despite those hangups, which become much more defined in the more recent years, like I said, this is a pretty good story, unlike the horrible sequel. The side effect of this book however was that it made Batman brutal and nasty, which did attach itself to the dark knight over the next 15 years, leading to many better interpretations. Sadly, I don't like Frank Miller's Batman, as much as it's influence. My Batman on the otherhand has the right amount of badass and compassion, and looks like this:

Transmetropolitan: A non spoiler review

So here I am again, back in Warren Ellis country. I've made it pretty clear I am a fan of the writer, but now I can proudly say he is the best comic writer out there, at least in my humble eyes. Transmetropolitan was written by Warren Ellis and drawn beautifully by Darick Robertson.

The entire series takes place over 60 comic books, or 10 trade paperbacks, which I personally feel is the perfect length for a huge, yet non infinite story. It's easy to get into and impossibly hard to put down. The starting premise is that crazy hermit looking journalist Spider Jerusalem, living alone in the mountains gets a call from his publisher demanding he come back to the big city and deliver on the two book deal that he is signed on for. Spider, being the kind of person who pretty much hates everyone dreads this but is forced back to civilization immediately seeking out a job writing a column called 'I Hate it Here' for a newspaper.

Some may take this as Warren Ellis standing on a soapbox and telling the world how wrong it is about various things, and I would agree. You see this is a sci fi and the big city is deranged. This is a twisted world where morality is pretty much gone and some very twisted subject matter is dealt with. Don't believe me? There is an issue about child prostitution. Yikes.

Interestingly enough, despite such grim tones and reckless disregard for morality, what holds it all together is Spider himself. Spider is a very colorful and multidimensional character. On one hand, he treats everyone like crap, has a gun that makes people poop themselves, eats endangered animals, constantly uses every kind of drug imaginable and of course loves killing dogs (the cuter the better). On the other hand, it's interesting to see him slowly but surely show signs of being a good person. At one moment he can be almost like a cartoon character, but then the next he teaches us a real true to life lesson. That's a sign of good sci fi. Also, keep in mind all the immorality of this future world is sadly believable when you really look at how the world is changing around us today.

The story starts off decently with a great opening story and some other little ones, bit everything gets incredible when at issue 13 or trade paperback 3 it starts a giant scale storyline that runs right to the end of the series, dealing with political corruption and pretty much every otter injustice you may find in the world today (although turned up to 11). Also, around this point a great character dynamic starts between Spider and two great supporting characters that really make this series special. 

While this may not be a series for the faint of heart I need to recommend it strongly. It is thrilling and intelligent and when it all comes to a close, the characters are so well fleshed out that you will likely look back, remembering them like old friends. Hell, I just finished it and I already miss Spider Jerusalem. 

Welcome to Stonerland!

What the hell is wrong with the world today? Everyone indulges a little too much in the ol' reefer madness these days if you ask me.

I'm depressed by our what the priorities in our world have become. What caused me to bring this up? I've been pondering getting into journalism for a bit, especially after reading Warren Ellis' Transmetropolitan. Yeah, for those familiar with Transmetropolitan, I do get the sense of irony. It's the story of a journalist who enjoys heavy drug use and stomping on things that he deems wrong in the world. Needless to say, I really like it, but I've gotten way off topic.

Here are 3 easy steps to piss me off.

Step 1 - Go to Google.ca.
Step 2 - Start typing "how much is an online journalism degree?"
Step 3 - Stop typing at the first 'n' in online and enjoy Google's suspected auto fill: "how much is an ounce of weed?"

Seriously? That comes up before anything else? Please note the word online was already written to the point of saying 'on'. That means it tried to correct me, probably cause it thinks I'm too baked to spell ounce, and jumped right to the weed.

Don't get me wrong. I don't have anything against people who smoke weed. If I did I'd be hating pretty much everyone with the exception of a handful of 80+ year old women. However, as a non weed smoker, I still feel justified in saying that some people (not all) maybe take their weed a little too seriously. That's all I'm saying. Perhaps instead of asking questions about how much getting stoned is gonna cost you, you could instead look up the ins and outs of quantum physics. Alas I digress, I probably could have been signing up for an online journalism course instead of writing this.

Oh people... You crack me up!

Captain America (2011)

Let's face it. Like most people Reb Brown will always be my Captain America. Captain America was awesome in that movie. Taking relaxing drives in his van with his see through plastic shield while wearing a motorcycle helmet was exactly how I always pictured Captain America. If there is anything more Captain America than that, I don't know what it is.

That horrifying image aside, the newest Captain America is tailored with a lot of love and respect for the character. The real question is, is this the Captain America movie we've always wanted? Well, for the most part yeah. It accepts the cheesy origins of the Cap and does an excellent job of showing it without making the movie feel like a joke. The movie knows when to make you laugh and when not to, and all of the laughs are natural well earned ones.

The part of the movie everyone is gonna be talking about for years to come is the amazing USO part where Steve Rogers is on a stage in a familiar costume with dancers singing his awesome theme song. Yeah he has a theme song. That really gets the idea across as to how this movie is. It's there to make you feel good, but not to make you feel stupid.

This movie is entirely a character study of Steve "Captain America" Rogers, and on that note it succeeds in every way imaginable. Sadly it is not perfect. When I saw The Incredible Hulk a few years back, they blatantly kept talking about Captain America and even went as far as having Tim Roth's Emil Blonsky injected with an incomplete version of Super Soldier serum. What followed that was some of the coolest action scenes I can think of. Blonsky was flipping around and fighting the Hulk and it was awesome. Naturally, that lead me to be excited to see how badass the complete serum would make someone. Sadly it seems the complete Super Soldier serum just makes you use nonstop CGI. Don't get me wrong, it isn't a deal breaker but I figured Captain America would be the one guy whos action scenes would be doable in the Marvel universe.

The villain would be the second flaw in the movie. Red Skull is an awesome villain. He's just so damn evil. Unfortunately the script doesn't really do anything with him. Hugo Weaving was the right guy for the part, but Red Skull was only there so Cap would have someone to fight. The final battle between the two is what I've come to expect from these Marvel movies (minus the Incredible Hulk), a huge letdown. Two Super Soldiers fighting it out and it lasts for what feels like a minute and a half. Red Skull deserved better.

This movie DOES NOT just feel like a commercial for The Avengers, and to be honest I'm sick of people saying that about these movies. It is a great true to the character story of a simpler time, when morality was more clear cut. Remember when America fought wars with good intent? This is what makes Cap a great character, he's from the old school and really believes in doing good. I hope to see him showing how he loves his country but doesn't always agree with it's decisions in future installments.

One last thing to touch on is the acting. Chris Evans is the man. Without his charm, Steve Rogers could have come off as a boring goody two shoes character as opposed to a good man who wants to do what's right. Other big thumbs up go to Tommy Lee Jones, which is a no brainer, Stanley Tucci, who was unbelievably charismatic and well written. The real surprise was Hayley Atwell, who really is a facial expression master. I believed her and can't wait to see where she ends up in her hopefully long acting career.

Over all, Joe Johnston proved he gets Captain America and that he was the right guy for the job. If he does the next one I hope he tones down the CGI and works a little harder on the action scenes. This is a winner and I would call it pretty much par with the first Iron Man. See this movie!

Conan The Barbarian (1982)

I don't claim to be a love guru, but if there is one thing every guy knows, it is that there is nothing better than eating spicy food and watching a badass action movie with your best gal! This is how I spent my Sunday night. What movie did we watch you ask? Seriously? Didn't you read the title? For crying out loud, just scroll up a bit. Yup, Conan the Barbarian.

Now keep in mind, I had seen it before, many times actually. Let's face it, you don't get this manly by not watching Conan. So this is my take on the movie when trying to figure out what it is I love so much about it.

Trying to pick out the specific reason why this movie is so special is tough, but I think I've got it. It is a fantasy in the most classic sense. Like a game of D&D it is all about different characters forming a party and going on an adventure to kill evil Mr. Darth Snake-man. In todays day and age, we would make a movie like that light hearted and market it to younger boys, but this movie came before Hollywood became a bunch of pussies. Make no mistake, this movie is totally for little boys, but in a more secret sort of way. Think of it in the simplest way. A huge muscle man with a huge sword slashes tons of shit. He goes on an epic adventure with a bunch of really cool friends he meets along the way and sees a load of boobs while doing it. Tell me if you can think of a more accurate depiction of what a 14 year old wants to see and I'll call you a liar.

Sadly, I'm no longer 14, so why do I like this movie ao much at nearly double that age? It's simple really when you look at it. The movie is made as a great classic. What do I mean by that? Despite some hilariously bad bloopers that made it into the movie, it feels like a completely serious epic. The music is old school epic ala Ben Hur or something of that ilk. Never is the movie in a rush or worried about keeping your attention. Conan's story is interesting and the movie itself believes in that, allowing it to take the time to give you proper atmosphere. Also James Earl Jones is incredible as the villain. He's legitimately bad and you really believe he could do anything.

It pleases me to say my better half claims she didn't like it, but was totally out for blood by the end of it. She was actually cheering for Conan to kill Thulsa and actually said "nooo, cut his head off!" when Conan hesitates. Based on this I say the movie proves it's effectiveness and I give it 4.5 punched out camels out of 5.

Army of Darkness Defense Review (iPhone)

Let me first say Bruce Campbell is an example of everything that is right with the world. As young filmmakers, the influence of the Evil Dead movies was very easy to see in most of our projects. I even recall modifying my voice for a few months to sound more Bruce like. I can proudly brag about having watched Evil Dead more than any other movie, and absolutely noticing every bizarre little quirk or flaw in the movie. That said, Army of Darkness was always my favorite of the three. It feels good to watch. It's epic and fun. Unfortunately the Evil Dead franchise has never been put to use to make a good video game. Why not? Ash is way more badass than Duke Nukem who gets all blurry eyed after only one beer (pussy). He was primed and ready to be in a great video game, but I guess it wasn't meant to be... until a cool guy from work told me about a game called Army of Darkness Defense for iOS.

Trying to explain how this game works is difficult. You play as the chin himself, as he tries to defend the Necronomicon from endless waves of fearsome deadites. Armed only with your faithful broomstick and your robotic fist (upgradeable to a chainsaw) you fight to overcome overwhelming odds. Thankfully, the game is a 2d style real time strategy game mixed with tower defense elements and you can call in waves of your own soldiers to fight along side you. You get to call on some of your favorite Army of Darkness characters as they deal devastating damage, like Henry the Red and King Arthur. Even the Wiseman comes out and heals you. Also, it's not just a matter of punching and shooting. You have badass special attacks, like a special boomstick blast, the infamous wrong book from the movie (the book that swallows Ash) and even the crushing Deathcoaster.

The game is 50 levels long with a few special enemies along the way and the last wave is a worthy final boss stage. When every wave ends you take all of your money that was dropped from the enemies and use it to upgrade either yourself, your special moves, your troops, or even the castle itself. Also pleasantly enough, if you die half way through a stage, you still get the gold that you picked up enabling you to upgrade further and perhaps win it next time.

Best of all, the game is filled with sound bites and music directly from the movie. All of your favorite Army of Darkness lines are in there. I even heard Ash call the Wiseman spinach chin.

The movie is special because it's genuinely fun and full of energy. This game keeps that tradition alive in both of those respects, but never settles for just being a movie tie in game. In this case, a rose by any other name would still smell just as sweet.

Army of Darkness Defense is as of my posting this, free on the app store with the option of microtransactions within. I don't care if you like the movie or not, you will enjoy this game. Shop smart...

The future looks bright!

Do you remember what the world used to be like? Everything was so much different. People didn't have to work two jobs to pay the rent and they had to worry about horrible problems, like what to do with free time. What was one to do? Use their imagination? That's hard work. Sleep? Pfft, who needs sleep? People even were held accountable back in the long long ago, unlike today where the laws are set up to protect the bad.

Thankfully we got past all that. Now days, we have it so much better. We are all tethered to wireless devices to assure us that we never have those pesky moments of peace and quiet. Also, we work so often, I personally forget what beaches look like. As I recall they were the kind of place that enabled thinking and sorting thoughts. I'm sure glad we got past that. Now we have focus in our lives and clear things to work towards. For example, we need to struggle to afford to eat, or have a home. For a while there we did that but still had some free money that we had to think about spending. Thankfully the cost of gas was more than happy to step up and keep our mind off that extra money.

I proudly feel that we as a race are always looking to the future. I admit great jealousy for my children and their children after them. Imagine how wonderful their world will be. Maybe they will finally have a world where those boring forests are turned into useful car dealerships and even more overpriced gas stations. Maybe some of them will even be able to escape the burden of home owning. All I know for sure is that the next generation is in for a very interesting future and they will have us to thank for it.

Getting back into comics.

Growing up I read a lot of comic books. I especially loved the X-Men in the mid 90s. I also read Spiderman, Batman, occasionally Superman and other random books I got my hands on. I would never say I was more of a Marvel kid or a DC kid growing up, though I'm sure I bought more Marvel. During that phase I stopped collecting in the very late 90s.

Years later, my good friend and I got back into it full force. At that point I was collecting everything DC and a small amount of Marvel. If Batman was involved, so were we! This was a fun phase in my life, as I finally discovered that comics had reached a new level. In the 90s you had little word bubbles explaining what was obvious in the pictures and the dialogue. They got rid of that, thank the heavens. For me it is almost hard to read the old stuff seriously, with a few exceptions. What I found was a world of comics that had come closer to legitimate great story telling that no longer relied on good guys fighting bad guys, cause that's what they do. Though the older stuff is still great, it evolved with me, as comics tend to do.

Eventually I stopped reading but not before reading a beautiful book called Iron Man: Extremis by Warren Ellis. It had a great character driven story about Tony Stark a real man with a guilty conscience, who sometimes is Iron Man. Adi Granov's art was also tremendously expressive, though Stark was clearly Tom Cruise. When I stopped due to financial reasons I made sure to finish up the 6 issue arch and was tremendously satisfied. Like that it was gone.

Five years later I was sitting and reflecting on how great Iron Man: Extremis was. I wanted to read it again, so I decided to order a nice hardcover of the collected story to keep it in nice shape. After reading it, I remembered not only why I loved that story, and Iron Man, but comic books in general. After that, I found myself mostly ignoring current storylines and the comic book format itself and only collecting trade paperbacks or sexy ass hardcovers. Since this move, I find it easy to believe I can semi collect comics forever.

Iron Man: Extremis was a gateway drug to me. It showed me how a comic can be mature and how badass superheroes can be. The maturity side lead me to amazing stories that everyone should read like:

Fell- also by Warren Ellis, the story of a detective moving into a really bad part if town to try to earn a quick promotion. Seriously, what's up with that nun?
League of Extraordinary Gentlemen- by Alan Moore which couldn't be any less like the movie...thankfully.
Sandman- by Neil Gaiman which is insanely good. It's not so much a story as it is a beautiful mythology.
Preacher- by Garth Ennis which is also extremely good, given the reader has the guts for it, which I do cause I'm mad hardcore.
Jonah Hex- by Palmiotti and Gray, has some of the best straight up western stories I've seen. Pick up any issue. It's made for that.
Maus- by Art Spiegelman, a true holocaust tale framed through the eyes of the son of a survivor. If you want to just pick something special up, grab these two volumes. Anyone would enjoy this.
Planetary- once again by Warren Ellis. I just finished this about ten minutes before writing this. It starts out like chaos, but by the end it all becomes so clear.

Granted there are many more books that I've read these are the ones that have left the best impression on me, though I have enjoyed a few great Iron Man and Batman stories and Joss Whedon's brilliant Astonishing X-Men run followed by, yet again, Warren Ellis. If it seems like I'm a fan, I am. The man writes the most naturally flowing comics I've seen. I also strongly recommend Scott Pilgrim, wherever that fits, it is a masterpiece.

So if you still have that feeling of wanting to get into comics, there are many options. Amazon is well priced and comic shops are happy to recommend something that you will enjoy. It's still a great medium and as long as they are on paper, they'll always be there for you.

What's with porn anyway?

Don't get me wrong, I understand what porn is for but what is with the porn industry. It's a complete parody of itself now. Back in the day they didn't know better, but today, they know exactly what is silly about it and embrace it. I'm not a porn watcher exactly, but I am a man and if as a man (and most women) you claim you never watch porn, between you and me, I know your secret.

So while porn today bumbles into the unrealistic scenarios and silly instant sex scenes, cutting out all tension and essentially making it so the sexy is surgically removed from the sex, I pose to you a question. Wouldn't you rather have a compelling believable story in your erotic cinema? Are people really in such a rush to finish? Can't I see breasts that look less rubbery than Joel Schumacher's Batman costume?

As my middle school sex education teacher told the class, "sex is a beautiful thing". Call me crazy but I still believe it is.

Anyway, that is probably the only chance I'll get to talk about porn on here for a bit, as my girlfriend will probably put me on some form of probation after this post. Seriously, I want to know if anyone agrees with me in this. Comment below with your thoughts. Who knows, maybe I can become a successful porn director/writer. Yeah, porn with a story, or better yet, story with porn. I'm gonna be rich.

The most addicting post ever.

See that guy in the picture? That is what you look like to me everytime you say the word addicting. Are you familiar with the expression, "a skunk doesn't smell it's own smell"? Coincidentally I have just coined the term, "A person who says addicting doesn't realize they sound like a slack jawed moron". Look, I know I may seem like I'm being mean but this is me trying to help you. People who say addicting are, in general, really socially successful and intelligent people using one word wrong and being laughed at by a group of others.

The first step to not sounding like Larry The Cable Guy's biggest fan is to know what and why you are doing it wrong. First off the word addicting does exist, however it is not an adjective the way so many use it. An example of proper usage would be: "Lately, I've been addicting myself to energy drinks." Sadly, since it's such a rare word to use, I highly recommend scrapping it and strategically using the words addictive, addicted, addiction or even addict.

Now, there, you have read it and I hope you understand it. If you don't, please ask questions below and I'll do my best to explain it. After all, I'm hardly an English major myself (though I do go out with one). I think an important skill is to take the time to listen to words and think of whether or not they make sense in context.

Anyway, thanks for reading and comment below if you like. Thanks for feeding my new found blog addiction. I guess you could say I'm a blog addict. It's just so addictive. I'm amazed how fast I became addicted.

<3

X-Men First Class thoughts

Let me first say I don't like Bryan Singer's X-Men movies for many reasons, though that is a discussion for another day.

I saw First Class a few weeks ago and immediately recognized it as the best X-Men movie. This one had Michael Fassbender playing a great Magneto, a solid, despite being miscast Charles Xavier and Kevin Bacon, however it's not all sunshine and rainbows.

The plot is simple. Charles Xavier and Erik Lansherr create a team of mutants called the X-men and in a matter of what feels like minutes discover they don't have the same goals, and split the team up creating an archrivalry that would last decades. Also Kevin Bacon.

Let's start with the good. The whole plot of Magneto going on a vengeance quest to kill the Nazi's who destroyed his young life was badass in a way I haven't seen in a long time. Every Magneto/Nazis scene works so well and deserves to be recognized, especially an early scene which I'll discuss in a moment. Another step in the right direction in this movie, was putting the X-Men back in costumes that looks like X-men costumes. We get to see several characters learning to control their powers.

The problem with this movie is that everything they tried to do is only half fleshed out or severely rushed. They try to show Charles and Erik become good friends, however this is limited to about a few weeks whereas it was always implied they were friends for many years before the falling out. They tried to have the whole movie take place in the 60s but it rarely felt like it did. They tried to show us the founding X-Men team which of course consisted of Cyclops, Iceman, Marvel Girl, Beast and Angel...actually none of those people were there except Beast, and he looked terrible when he turned blue. Instead we have our founding team filled with people I barely even remember and Banshee who actually is a popular X-Men character in his own right. The only other noteworthy character is named Darwin and his ability is to survive. I remember him because the scene after he explains his power he dies, and yes...he is the only black character in the movie.

The depressing thing about this movie is that it really didn't take use of a big part of the X-Men.... The X-Men. When I reflect on the movie I only really remember Charles, Erik and Kevin Bacon. I have to actually think about it to even remember who was even on the team. That's just a weird decision to me.

This movie without question had to have had the most anticlimactic final showdown I have seen in a while and in this day and age superhero movies have really been doing a terrible job in the "final battles". Which brings me to....

Kevin Bacon. He plays Sebastian Shaw and despite being totally miscast he nailed it. His entire performance is obviously just him having a blast and being super confident. The best scene for me was early on where he motivates young Magneto to use his powers by executing his mother right in front of him, and then has the fortitude to celebrate as though Magneto should be happy too. Kevin Bacon, I salute you.

Sadly I do believe that if Matthew Vaughn was making these X-Men movies from the start and not trying to find a way to fit into the Singerverse, I would have X-Men movies to talk about joyously unfortunately that isn't the case, so I leave you with a request. Don't spend money on any more of these X-Men movies. Let them fizzle out. Make it so it costs Fox too much to keep making them and they let the rights go back to Marvel. Only then, will we ever have a shot at a good X-Men movie. If you like the X-Men movies, trust me when I say a movie actually based on the X-Men would blow your mind!

A truly victorious day!

I saw a slight influx of new viewers coming into my humble blog, so I had to investigate. Imagine my joy when I discovered the cause of the many discoveries of Bliz-O-Vision. Many have been searching Google for "Camera inside vagina", and my Enter the Void Experience post answered the call.

I can't wait to tell my parents about this accomplishment! That's one to scratch off my bucket list!!

Anyway, check in soon for some great surprises! (They are surprises because I don't know what I'm writing about until I do.)